3 days..

I am so tired. Worn out. Exhausted. But not particularly sleepy, just.. tired. People keep asking me how I am, and the only reply that comes into my head is "worn out". So I say that, which only makes them ask "why?". Which doesn't really solve anything because I can only reply "..I don't know why." Which in turn leads them to ask me again because they think they have misheard me, which leads to me screaming at them because I don't know why I am so fucking tired.

Mary (one of my many bosses at work, and also Leanne's mother) called me about 2 seconds before leaving to go to school on Tuesday morning, saying that she wanted me to work Wednesday afternoon from 4pm - 8pm, and also the same times on Thursday and Friday. So, today being 3.10pm on Friday, I have about 40 minutes until I have to leave for work. And 5 minutes until the end of school. I just feel so tired all the time now, I really have no idea why, but I wish I did know, and I wish I didn't feel so tired too. I don't have the energy to do anything, even though there is so much stuff I want to do.

So, in short. I'm tired, worn out, exhausted, bored, lonely, and feeling unloved. I hate this, hate it, hate it, hate it. I don't want to be a student anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I just don't want to do this, I don't know if I can handle anymore. I want to go somewhere. Anywhere. Just.. somewhere away from here.....

I'm trying to decide if I should create another webpage. I mean, I've nearly finished school for this year and there's a lot of stuff I want/need to do with Tainted, and I promise I will do it soon.. But I'm thinking of creating either a links directory (which I've started, but I doubt it shall progess any further), or a Placebo / Brian Molko site. I'm really, really wanting to make a Placebo site - then I could have all my Placebo fanfictions there too, and I could actually put to use all the hundreds of pictures I have. *grins* I'd probably call it 'Fade To Grey', like this blog, which is a line from 'Bruise Pristine'. Not sure yet though. Any ideas, anyone?

I had my second significant fight with Chrissy last week - lasted from Thursday until Saturday, I believe. My fault, of course. How could it not have been? It's always my fault. I did apologize, but I still feel bad about it. I mean, I know I should put a bit more effort into our friendship, but she could too, you know?

On a lighter note, I think I've decided what I'm going to wear to the Year 10 formal. That is, if they don't decide to cancel it. *rolls eyes* Either way, I bought this dress about two months ago as a back-up in case I didn't find anything better to wear, which it doesn't look like I will. So yeah, it's black with thin straps and has this nice little knot-thing at the front, is roughly knee-length but goes out all over the place with an uneven bottom. I need something to dress it up though, so I'm thinking of getting some black elbow-length gloves to wear with it. So now I just need to find some.

I have so much to update on though. I've been buying far too much stuff recently, and there's so much more I still want. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened yesterday - JB Hi-Fi called me and told me that finally my HIM 'Love Metal' CD has come in. THANK YOU! I mean, I *did* order it in the first week of not last holidays, but the holidays before. That makes it.. 19 weeks?

I also finally got a copy of the new reissue 2-CD set of Placebo's 'Sleeping With Ghosts'. I mean, I have owned SWG since about a week after it came out, I only wanted this for the second CD of covers. It was only $30 too, and I've now got two other people hooked enough to go out and buy it. Aren't I great? ^___^ I'm in love with 'Johnny and Mary', 'The Ballad of Melody Nelson', and 'Runnin' Up That Hill'. 'Runnin' is the saddest song ever, it was original a Kate Bush song (I haven't heard that version yet, but I am planning on it).

I have also officially become an eBay addict. Just in the last week or so - I bought a 'Special Needs' UK-DJ 1-track promo CD a couple of days back, and today I bought the original Nirvana 'Come As You Are' single. *claps* Yay, I'm so happy with them. :) I'm also winning a heap of other auctions too, so I shall be poor again. *sweatdrop*

*glares mockingly at Laila* She's got me hooked on the Manic Street Preachers now. It's awful, lol. She leant me 'Everything: a manic street preachers book' about two weeks ago, and since then I have been devouring everything I can find on them. I went and bought 'This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours' on the weekend, for the grand sum of $12 at Impact. It was a toss-up between that and 'Everything Must Go', which also at $12 was a great bargain, but I decided that $42 on CD in one day was enough already. Still, I'll probably go and buy 'EMG' next weekend or something. Looks like I have another obsession coming on. ^____^